I’ve been really screwing up my life recently and I know what the main reason I’ve been doing it is.

I’m crazy addicted to sex.

The whole thing has been messing with my life and the relationships I’ve been making with people. I only really have male friends because I’m always out to find this prince charming character I’m looking for.

Often I’ve considered what life would be like if I became a nun and swore to a life of abstinence but I feel that I’d be a good mother and that it would be a loss to society if I weren’t to have children…plus I want to have that experience one day.

I know having sex is a sin, and that I keep committing it it’s a struggle I’ve been having with God and I’m still trying to figure out how I’ll stop sinning. In the Christian faith it is a sin to commit the sin of fornication and adultery on the person you will eventually call your spouse. I know it’s a sin but I keep committing it and I’m too embarrassed to seek professional help to stop doing it. Many people in regular society have different opinions on sex and if you should have sex before marriage.

Many people would have thought I am still a virgin…I’m here now saying that sadly though I wish I was still one, I’m not.

I wish I’d saved myself for marriage so I couldn’t go through the pains of having given a piece of myself to so many men.

I was introduced to sex at a young age and I haven’t gotten up the courage enough to share that part of myself with many people outside of my therapist and the people at my church. After my experience losing my virginity in youth I asked God for forgiveness and I became a virgin again in spirit though not physically. I was nineteen years old with one of the men in Theta Chi when I willingly gave up that virginity and it felt like any girl’s first time, It hurt and I cried but then it became more enjoyable the more I tried it.

After that my feelings toward sex changed completely,

I developed by first sexual relationship when I was in Scotland with Craig and when I got back from Scotland. At the time I’d thought that Craig was going to be the man I was going to marry and since in my heart I was married to Craig I didn’t look at what I was doing with my body as a sin because I wasn’t committing adultery because I was with the man I wanted to be with. I found that sex was easy to come to when the mood was right and whenever i could while I was in Scotland I didn’t hesitate to indulge in it.

When I got back to the states I’d discovered that Craig had opened up some wild beast in me that I’d never known I’d had. While I was with Craig but away from him in the United States I found myself being extremely lonely and my sexual urges were never met. Many people would simply masturbate, which I find was not something I liked to enjoyed doing. There’s only so much phone sex a person can have before it’s no longer enjoyable.
Because I was so lonely and had become so desperate even for someone to hold or touch me after a year and a half of being alone physically but not in my heart I one night found solace in another, I happened to be extremely drunk that night…which is no excuse but it did add to my lapse in judgement. I felt a lot of shame after that experience especially because it didn’t solve all my problems with being lonely and it wasn’t what I was used to with Craig.
After I told Craig he was really hurt but he still loved me and he understood and he did end up forgiving me. It took a lot of time for me to regain his trust and I’m proud to say we were together for a year after that happened.
I still can’t explain to myself what happened to Craig and I in the time after I got deported, I didn’t see him breaking up with me coming and my heart will never be the same after having him turn his heart from me so quickly and not having anyway to change his mind or make him feel better. I really loved Craig and he was my first love and I felt that I’d never be able to love anyone ever again. I gave so much of myself to him and in my heart I felt a lot of shame having married him with my heart and body. Shame that everything I gave to him I’d never be able to get back.

During the year after the breakup I didn’t have sex with anyone and the ache that I had for Craig never went away because as soon as Craig broke up with me I felt totally worthless.
I began to not care much about my body because I thought I’d lost to one man I’d ever want to be with in a sexual way. When I started dating again I was in search of a man who could be there like a friend like Craig was with me but also be there because I had needs. Instead of finding love or friendship I found a never ending series of men who weren’t after a relationship and were only after sex. Since I didn’t believe in love anymore or anything having to do with happily ever after I am ashamed to say that I often let myself get used to sex and often misinterpreted that sex as a man caring and loving me. I thought that just because a man had sex with me that he actually wanted to be with me and keep me around but time and time again I found that men weren’t interested in me after we’d had sex, not because I wasn’t good but because they’d gotten what they’d wanted out of me and they didn’t need me anymore. Sometimes I’d have sex with a man because I thought we really hit it off and could go somewhere in a relationship. I much too often misinterpret a man wanting to have sex with me with love or even like. I tricked myself time and time again and I knew the signs I was having sex with someone and I would not fully be there, my mind would be lost and it was like I had an out of body experience where I’d turn myself off for the time we were in bed and I’d become a robot. Though at time it was enjoyable I often didn’t feel passion in what I was doing. Sometimes I just did it to make the man feel like he was worth something. There was a part of a man wanting me that I enjoyed and that’s what I walked away with.

After Craig broke up with my I lost all respect for myself and my body.

After a series of men I didn’t understand why I slept with I found myself looking for something else. Someone who wouldn’t only want me for my body but another relationship.

I searched and looked and a few times I thought I found that special person in someone, there was Chris and Reed…who both in the end told me that I wasn’t what they were looking for though they saw potential in me, they’ve both now moved on to healthy relationships with other women. I got used to the rejection and I got used to being used for the sex. I went on many dates where in refusing sex I was rejected by the man and I’m happy I was spared by that heartbreak.

For awhile I was doing much better and I stopped having sex.

I thought everything was going great when I was just dating men and seeing if we hit it off. I made the mistake of having a few dates with a man named Jason who I eventually ended up having sex with I was surprised to discover that Jason ended up giving me an STD. Jason and I didn’t work out because after our great dates and our night together Jason discovered he’d had the STD and he’d been too embarrassed to tell me and he instead hid from me in shame and blew me off when I tried to get ahold of him for more dates. It wasn’t until 2 months later that I finally heard back from him and he told me why he’d blown me off. “Corinne, I didn’t want to tell you that I had an STD.”

“What?! You had one and could have given it to me and you didn’t have the common decency to tell me so I could get tested?!”

“No.”

“Asshole!” *click*

Since it had been two months and I’d already come to the reality that Jason wasn’t interested in me I’d already moved on in continuing my search for a new boyfriend. Since being with Jason I’d grown close to an old crush i’d had from High school and during the two months after Jason I ended up having sex, ‘once’ with this high school crush for we’d become really close and one hot summer day the heat got the best of both of us. That friend had been the only man I’d been with since Jason had blown me off and I had to turn around and tell him that I may have passed something onto him. After he was tested he discovered that he had been given something and I was tested and I discovered that Jason had given that something to me. I was so embarrassed that I’d turned around and given to a really close friend of mine who I had finally hooked up with an STD.That was extremely embarrassing and I daily thank my loving and supportive mother for buying the two little pills it took for me to get over that.

After that I swore off sex completely. I didn’t want a repeat of what had happened before and I took time to focus on work and school and not on my relationship status or sexual life.

Many many months went by and the feelings of loneliness and wanting companionship came back. I decided that this time around I’d try looking for real genuine men who weren’t after me for sex.

About two months ago I met a great guy named David and for awhile I thought David was the man I was going to actually be with forever. He was supportive of me even though I have many flaws and he was not with me for sex, which I really appreciated. Everything with David was amazing except for the fact that he was too busy with Law school to be in a relationship with anyone. He had no time for me and though I cared about him and we were very good together. There were times that David’s quirkiness and mannerisms really didn’t go well with me. After being with David for a month I felt really neglected, It felt similar to the neglected way I was feeling when Craig wouldn’t try to contact me for days at a time. I always imagined that a man who actually loved and cared about me would want to talk to me and see how I was doing or would keep me updated on his life and wouldn’t be vague with me on how he was feeling or what he was thinking. And I didn’t find any of that in David.  He simply wasn’t free to be around enough to do any of that and when he was with me he was so distracted by thoughts of the work he had to get done that he didn’t really give me his all and I always felt like he was aching to go and get back to whatever he’d been doing before he’d come over to see me. When I started to complain about that all he could do was apologize and threaten to break up with me. He didn’t even try to fight or change to keep me around, he just had the attitude of a person who was saying ‘if you can’t handle it…leave’. Because I fear being alone of course I begged that he stay and I told him that I could handle not having him around all the time…at least until he graduated in May, which didn’t seem that far away. And I settled for less and less of him…I would text him in the morning “Have a great day, I hope your day is super productive and that it goes smoothly”(…things like that.) I’d hope that during the day that he’d find the time to text me back when I text him “How is your day going?’ and at night I’d cross my fingers that he’d answer a phone call from me…which he more often than not, didn’t answer. I’d leave voice mails “Hey it’s me Corinne, When you get the time give me a call!” And I’d receive nothing in return. I had told David that I could handle being alone because I was alone when I was with Craig but honestly that’s not the kind of man I feel and know I deserve and need to be with. I need a man who is there for me when I need him and doesn’t have to put me on his schedule. I started growing tired of waiting by the phone for David to respond to my texts and phone calls. I got tired of having to only have him over for an hour and have him disappear like Cinderella at midnight, getting frustrated when I was upset he couldn’t stay fifteen minutes longer (if it meant finishing a movie). I got tired of hearing David say that I was wasting his time and that he couldn’t spend the night (not even having sex) because he needed to feed his bunnies.

In order to cope with not being with David all the time I started trying to make new friends and hangout with old ones. I would focus on school and bury myself in my work. Often I found myself hanging out with that old friend from the summer who I’d given the STD to. He’d long since forgiven me and we were able to hangout and talk about our struggles with love lives with one another. That friend lets call him ‘Brian’ told me honestly that he’d never be able to love me and be my boyfriend because he wasn’t attracted to me in that way, but he wasn’t against being there for me when I needed a male body or a shoulder to cry on or a man to take me out to dinner and a movie. Brian was the perfect friend with benefits though when I’d been with him over the summer I’d wanted him to be more than that. When David told me that he was incapable of ever being in love again I had a really bad feeling in my gut and I told my friend Brian. Brian told me I deserved better. When David told me that he never gave presents and didn’t believe in God I had a bad feeling in my gut, and I told my friend Brian. Brian told me that my boyfriend was an asshole, i defended David but felt hurt in my heart that he’d presented me with tacos and had said “Merry Christmas” because he’d paid. When David wasn’t there for me when I needed company Brian was more than willing to stop everything he was doing to hangout and watch a movie with me. One of these nights in my own weakness I once again found myself attracted to Brian and Brian once again became that person in my life to offer me comfort when I was lonely. I once again found myself having sex with Brian.

After I cheated on David I felt terrible and right away. I wanted David more than ever before because I knew that even though he was an asshole he was a good guy that I’d grown to really love. I’d really screwed things up with David and as I’d done with Craig before in order to clear my conscientiousness and be honest in my relationship with David I confessed to him that I had done him wrong. I felt terrible about the whole thing even though I had cared for David and he was a great thing in my life I’d gone with what my body needed rather than what my life needed. I’d given into my ever growing addiction to sex and I’d let someone I was growing to really care about down. I’m a pretty terrible person for having done this ‘yet again to another’ boyfriend and I’m wondering what it means. Am I really in love with the men I think I am? I think if I was in love with them as I tell myself I wouldn’t need to find comfort in another.

Anyway, David had a good right to break up with me and even though I’m sad about it I feel that David and I are now both a little better off. I want a man who puts forth more effort to show me that he’s there and wants to be with me a man who puts me on his priorities list. Because I believe that even after school is gone we will all grow old and our relationships will continue after we have our jobs and our homes. The people you love should be there for you even when you are in school and you should give them time also and not make love to your work all the time.

So I’m single once again. And I’m facing a little more drama than just a break up this time.

Since “Brian” and I were so spontaneous the other night we didn’t use any kind of protection in the form of a condom, and I haven’t been on the pill because I haven’t had the money to afford to pay for my prescription. So after I had sex with him Brian asked me to take a morning after pill. I’m not sure if that is against my beliefs or not and I’ve never really considered what could happen to me if I ever were to become pregnant. He’d asked me right after we’d had sex and right away my heart had become heavy. Not only was it heavy from guilt in having just cheated but it was heavy because of how irresponsible I’d been in not considering having safe sex. Though I feel I’d make a great mother and that I should live with the mistakes I made…even if that meant becoming pregnant I realized that I should also consider the men I’m with and whether or not they’d want me to be the mother of their children. Men have a say on if they want to be forced to me fathers also. Brian told me he didn’t want to have children with me and because of that I find myself today taking pills again, This time in order to prevent an accident from happening that could change everyone’s lives forever.

I had to think about these morning after pills for a long time. If I was pregnant this could be killing an unborn child and I’d be killing something and that’s a terrible sin or I am preventing myself from becoming pregnant and making a huge mistake because a man’s sperm can live in a woman’s body up to a week after sex. A baby would be a huge mistake because it would have to survive at this point in my life with a mother who isn’t financially stable and who is still in school.

Though I’d make a great mother and I want to be a mother someday I’m going to take the pills to save my mother the heart attack and the baby from living a life where his/ or her father never loved it’s mother. And to save myself from having to live with the shame that I had a child while cheating on a great man. I want to save myself from having to be alone and pregnant looking for a future husband and I don’t think I’ll be able to establish my career if I’m pregnant.

Brian came by and delivered the pills, he said he was sorry to hear that David and I broke up but he thinks I’m better off and that I deserve someone better who will be there for me. Then he hugged me got in his car and left, we’ve agreed not to have anymore sex and thought I think he actually wanted to stand there and force feed the pills to me I’m happy he trusts me after I swore that I’d take them so I’m going to and I’m happy to be alone to think about what I’ve been doing with my life.

Here goes everything…

Step 2: Locate computer.

Step 3: Proceed to turn computer on.

Step 4: Locate Headphones

Step 5: Proceed to plug in headphones and place them on your ears

Step 6: Log into computer and begin program Itunes.

Step 7: Turn down computer volume completely, start music.

Step 8: Adjust volume in headphones to successfully tune out lusty moans.

Step 9: Try to forget everything and Escape in the music.

Step 10: Close your eyes, don’t imagine your house mate Naked or try to figure out who is with who and where and what they might be doing to create a noise like that. Try to think happy thoughts.

Part of Craig’s efforts to get over me was to erase me from his life completely. He cut me off and cut all ties. This was a drastic and devastating way for him to go about things and I feel that he was selfish in this act as he was all the acts of our relationship. I know personally I would have had a better time getting over the relationship if Craig had let me go slowly and had given me time for acceptance and a time to say goodbye. (But that’s a whole different can of worms)

It’s strange how a person can simply cut you out of their life like that, now I have a small feeling of how my father might have felt when his family didn’t want him around anymore as if he was cramping our style.

I’ve learned though through this experience that some things are for our own good even if we don’t want them.

My personal strategy for coping wasn’t as blunt and brutal. Personally I spent some time slowly depriving myself of the things in life that reminded me of Craig. Recently I’ve begun reintroducing those things back into my life again.

It’s amazing how much of my life I changed because I couldn’t stand the pain that came along with doing those things.

Like accents for instance, whenever I was around a person with an accent I made a point of walking away.

Some musical groups I have yet to remember that I listened to, and in hearing those groups again I am reminded of how Craig influenced my soul and infused himself into my style.

Still today I like things that I know Craig would like and I pursue things happily that I wouldn’t have had Craig not changed me. Like ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ Signs being a part of interior design and trendy…and anything having to do with making your office or living space more functional or zen…all those things I tend to associate with my life-time with Craig.

I stopped watching some of my now favorite television shows because I was introduced to them by Craig or we spent a lot of time watching the episodes together…such as Fringe, Firefly, Dr.Who and How I met your mother. I got tired of making fun references to the shows in my everyday life and not having anyone around me understand them like Craig would.

I adopted the likes and interests of many of the people who I coexist with in my everyday life, like people from my church and my house mates. I started experimenting with different kinds of music and a different way to dress in order to discover a new style that could be uniquely my own. I tried new foods and went out with a different kind of crowd entirely so I could see if I was capable of doing so. I got drunk in public and I got fun and I shared myself with people. I tried to be genuine in everything I did and I felt good knowing that I could shout from the rooftops that I am a Christian without having anyone put me down for living under a belief system like Craig did…often though I might make the excuse that it was indirect and unintentional.

It’s strange that I speak about Craig now because I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t talk about him all that much because it spawns a strange hatred for humanity in me that I don’t feel is of a Godly disposition. I’ve had a few talks now with my mother and a woman named Julie from my congregation where they told me that my being so honest and open is a bad thing for me because It shows that I have no control over my emotions and that I have a hard time showing digression. I feel that that is untrue about me…I will never tell a secret on my blog if it is told to me…most secrets I forget a matter of hours after I get them because I feel it is useless to gossip. I will never betray anyone I love and who trusts me. I will always tell the truth even if it hurts, and I will be real and open and truthful about how I am feeling even when it makes me look immature and irresponsibly. Consider me to be A star sapphire on the emotional spectrum and quick to anger. (Chris’s influence)

I think I bring Craig up now because I yesterday I was able to spend some time with the Ex boyfriend of my best friend Heidi, Nate.

It sounds a bit strange that I am now really good friends of my best friends ex boyfriend only now after they’ve broke up but certain factors have changed in both our lives that made it easier for us to relate to one another and bond on different levels…we came together to support each other because we needed each other. And the universe brings strange people into your life to be guardians and comforters(Like Jake Babcock, Ian Morris and Vincent Rumfelt.)

Nate and I were both in interestingly dysfunctional long term relationships where the warning signs were everywhere. Nate and I both decided to work through our problems in our relationships because we both felt that in our relationships the bad could be worked through to get to the good. My philosophy was that relationships were hard work and people don’t have to like each other all the time but they could still love each other. In Nate and Heidi’s relationship things were ended mutually after four years and Nate claims that he could see the warning signs coming from a mile away and that he allowed his breakup to happen because he was ready for it to end when my personal relationship was only half that time and I had no clue the end was coming and I wasn’t prepared for it whatever…but the tall tale signs were there and now that I think about it I should have seen them.

The thing that both Nate and I struggle with is that when we were in our relationships we were both blinded by the love we had for our former significant others and because of that we put up with a lot of (forgive my french) Crap that we didn’t deserve.

Nate and I hung out and we talked about relationships and why and how people have the ability to grow stronger from them. We talked about finding our 2nd true loves in life and we pondered if life was actually cruel enough to leave us old and alone.

Both Nate and I have pretty much the same goals and aspirations about what we’d like to find in the next person we decide to commit our time and ourselves to. We talked about what we personally needed to work on when we were in our relationships…our problems that contributed to the dysfunction.

Nate told me that Heidi had shaped him into a certain kind of person yet that he’d learned that he was the person before she was around and that he became a better person because he was able to share that part of himself with her.

So I thought about my Deprivation and about myself at fourteen when I first started chatting with Craig. I thought about the person I may have become had he not been there to help, guide and make me want to be a better person.

And I stopped depriving myself from the things in life that made me happy…and surprisingly they didn’t hurt.

Catching up on my Fringe Season 3 today was a blast and it didn’t hurt me. I wondered to myself why I’d missed such a great show over something so small as to the fact that Craig and I used to watch and talk about the show all the time.

And I listened to The Bird and the Bee again and OKGo…staples of my Scotland soundtrack.

And I’m working on my killing my clingyness so I can have a productive relationship without smothering Whoever I end up with.

I am ending my ex boyfriend deprivation and I’m finding more of myself in the new blend of my old likes and new likes.

Gosh Corinne! Get a grip and don’t be clingy with this one…guys don’t like that kind of stuff.

Don’t scare him away by texting and calling him all the time…Don’t say you’d like to know everything about him then not have anything new to ask him about himself and his plans for the future.

Gosh Corinne! Don’t be so aggressive and learn how to like and coexist with people again…try new things.

You really like this guy so show him how you really are because he’s a total catch a completely out of you league.

look at him, he has a social life and hobbies…where’s your social life and hobbies? What do you have to offer him?

Gosh Corinne pay attention and remember what he told you about things. Gosh Corinne don’t be pushy when he says he wants to see where things are going…when he says he’s an observant person.

Be the best you that you can be and show him that YOU ARE WORTH STAYING WITH…though Craig made you feel like you could never be ‘the one’.

If it doesn’t work out don’t be devastated like you were with Craig…there are other fish in the sea and you deserve the best because you’re a good person and you haven’t done anything wrong to anyone else.

Till he asks you out or tells you that it’s just not working out….try to do everything you can to show him your real genuine side because that’s the side he’s going to end up with when you get passed all your nervousness while you’re around him.

He’s going to see you being a good leader and outgoing sometimes too though right now you are becoming clingy and appreciating the attention that you are finally getting again after getting dumped.

You deserve a great guy like him…He’s most of what you are looking for.
-Christian
-Great with Children
-Handsome
-Polite
-Responsible with his own adgenda
-A complete person that doesn’t need you to be happy.

Corinne…you are an incomplete person that should become a complete person yourself before you start depending on another man.

Till then love as if you’ve never loved before and give it all the heart you can.

Because when you find that right someone…that Prince Charming who will finally have the balls to sweep you off your feet and pop the question and take care of you till you’re old black and blue…make yourself a complete person till you go looking.

Till then…keep Chris around, he seems like a good steady level headed match for you and you deserve a good guy like him.

True love which is the basis of what I’ve been taught to be what is the and all and be all of the soul.

I wanted to Love someone with all my heart and I chose you.

You have killed me.

I love you and you have taken my love and destroyed it.

You have rejected it and violated it and abused it and made it un-restorable.

I will never be able to love again as I love you.

I will never be able to see my future in another person’s eyes like I did in yours.

And I’m being told that it is better to have loved and lost than to have no loved at all but I wish I’d never had this experience. Because it is like dying and never living to be without you now.

There was a time when I saw only you, I was blinded by my love for you and everything in my world was rosy and bright. I had not a care in the world because I was loved by you, and I felt that even through all my hard times I’d always be able to make it through because I was loved by you.

NOW….THERE IS NOTHING BUT DARKNESS AND I HAVE NO HOPE FOR TOMORROW.

I have no motivation to live anymore.
Because you have killed me.
You have Killed me.

You are Dead to me
And I will try not to mourn you because you’re evil and you don’t deserve that energy.
You’re a waste of my time.

I was in what I thought were “relationships” in the past and I found myself categorizing what kind of relationship it was going to be.
For example: The High School relationship when you think that you are going to be together for High school and you expect that you are going to try to remain together during college but you know that you are eventually going to ‘drift apart’.(aka the Strawberry Wine relationship)

Or the Summer sweetheart relationship when you know that at the end of the summer you will break up and go on your own separate ways (aka what my friend’s call the Grease Summer Lovin’ relationship).

or sadly the one night stand w/ emotional attachment where you think you’ll give the physical part of your body satisfaction with the knowledge that you may or may not have feelings for the person you are with.

It’s interesting how a person like me could see an end to my “love situations” with the opposite sex.

There was a time in my life when I believed it was normal for two people to be together for a few weeks as a couple for the benefits of being together. But that changed when I realized that i’d met someone who made it possible for me to not give our ‘loving situation’ a title.

I could see no end to what I call our relationship and I found I had no reason to move onto someone else.

Instead of making plans to accommodate the man in my life was already expected to be a part of it all. I planned to keep him in that position for as long as I could think of because he was the only man for the job.

I didn’t compare him to the people I’d been with in the past with hopes of moving on in the future to “something better” because I didn’t consider the relationship a fling or a temporary thing, it was all I knew and all I wanted to know.

I think a person knows that they want to be with someone truly in a real relationship when: even through the bad times you can see yourself being with that person or even in life transitions you know that you will surely take that person with you. When you can’t give your relationship a temporary title.

My best friend and boyfriend are one and the same and I’ve known him for almost seven years now, he’s the person in my life that I’ve had with me the longest and that I hope to keep with me longer. I have trouble determining when I fell in love with him unlike other relationships where I thought ‘I knew it right then that they were going to be mine’ there was no crazy infatuation stage before…it simply started. It did end my long time loneliness but it wasn’t because I needed that support it was because the relationship was right, true, and real.

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” You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ”
Henry Drummond

” Romance is about the little things. ”
Gregory J. Godeck

” Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles. ”
Beverly Jones

” When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. ”
Oscar Wilde

To bask in the delights of idealized love is, in essence, to be a romantic. Hollywood, it seems, has personified romance as candlelit dinners in fancy French restaurants or giggly chases in slow-motion through daisy-filled meadows. The truth is that expressions of love and affection don’t have to be expensive or overwhelming. Holding hands, casual walks, or a simple “I love you” are those little things which can really go a long way. If you aren’t comfortable with the traditional romantic protocol, you can come up with your own ways of letting someone know how much you care. The truth is that there are no rules.

It is important to note that romance is not a component of love that appeals to everyone; nor is it necessary to keep passion alive. Passion can be stirred by simply being respectful and honest with the one you love. Whether you’re a romantic at heart or a more pragmatic lover, as long as you’re willing to put your heart and soul into a relationship there is no amount of roses, candlelit dinners or four-string quartets than can measure up or compare to that.

Romance index
83

According to your score, you are romance typified! Rose petals, poignant poetry, tall glasses of wine, touching moments, and sweet words are all loving gestures that you love to receive as well as offer. Romance is very important to you, and quite likely an aspect that you consider fundamental in relationships. Keep in mind however, that problems may arise if you are with someone who really isn’t the romantic type. If you look forward to Valentine’s Day to express your love and your partner doesn’t even acknowledge it as a special day, you might end up feeling neglected or your efforts unappreciated. Nevertheless, even if your partner isn’t as romantically inclined as you are, try to be appreciative of his/her efforts when she/he does try to woo you. Some people aren’t comfortable displaying their affection in screamingly obvious ways, but this doesn’t mean that they don’t care – they simply prefer to be more subtle. Whether it’s you or your partner who is doing the romancing, check out the ideas in the Advice section for some simple and sweet romantic gestures that aren’t tough on the wallet or too overwhelming.

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ADVICE

Romance doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive – just from the heart. Remember – it’s the little things that matter the most. Whether it’s you or your partner who is more of the romancer, check out the ideas below for some simple and sweet romantic gestures.

• Show up at your lover’s workplace and whisk her/him away for lunch or a walk.

• Put a note on the bathroom mirror promising to share an afternoon delight.

• When you are not together, call or send a message just to let your partner know that you miss him/her.

• Ride your bike or walk the distance to your significant other’s house just to see him/her for a few hours.

• Dress and/or undress each other.

• Kiss every part of your partner’s body.

• Hold hands.

• Surprise your partner with plans for a fun day-trip together.

• Go to a toy store and play like children.

• Bring your partner a treat when you pay him/her a visit.

• Get up early and make him/her breakfast in bed.

• Compliment him/her. A simple “You’re adorable” or “You’re so much fun to be with” is perfect – just make sure you mean it of course!

• Find out what your partner’s favorite dish is and surprise him/her with a home cooked meal one night.

• Find out what his/her favorite song is and request it on the radio as a dedication to him/her.

• Put together a journal of romantic quotes, poems and songs.

2.KNOW WHEN IT’S OKAY TO LIE
Guys want you to be honest when it comes to important things, like whether you’re dating him exclusively or how far you want to go physically. But when it comes to personal things that could be sore spots, like thinking his best friend is hot or hating his mom’s cooking, he’d prefer that you tell a little white lie. You don’t have to pretend to love his hideous new shirt, but you can just say something neutral, like, “It’s okay. I like your green one better.” Guys appreciate when girls have the heart not to needlessly hurt our feelings — because yes, we do have them!

3. PICK YOUR BATTLES
No relationship is perfect, and no two people are going to agree on everything. A great girlfriend doesn’t let her pride stand in the way of letting her guy walk away from a silly argument at least thinking he got his point across (even if you still secretly disagree with him). If you’re arguing about something important to you, like your religious beliefs, then stick to your guns. But little disagreements can snowball into big fights. And nothing is sadder than having a huge fight and breaking up because he doesn’t think Grey’s Anatomy rocks and you think it’s awesome. McDreamy’s just not worth it.

4. HUMOR HIM
Stupid as it may seem, guys get worked up about things like video games and sports. The best girlfriends realize that these things really mean something to guys and affect us on an emotional level. Think about how psyched you get when you score a great bag at a killer sale. It makes your day, right? That’s how we feel when our team sinks a half-court buzzer beater. And it’s nice to have a girl who’ll cheer right along with us, whether or not she really cares what just happened.

5. GIVE HIM A BREAK
Girls will always be our main focus, but sometimes we just want to hang out with our friends. Guys are so used to being told what to do by our moms that we have it in our head that we’ll need to beg our girlfriend’s permission to see our buddies. So if your guy says, “I might hang out with the guys on Saturday night,” and you reply, “Okay, have fun!” he’ll think you’re cool. And it’ll make him want to hang out with you that much more next Saturday night!

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