Corinne's Blog

On Wednesday December 26th 2007 I posted a blog on my myspace blog of a conversation Craig and I had in which I told Craig a dream and he tried to help me interpret it. Craig and I have now been dating for a year and 2 months but at the time we were only good friends, Correction: Bestfriends.

I read the dream again and now that my situation with Craig has changed it all makes a lot more sense to me. I believe that dreams are reflections of real life sometimes and that they can tell the future.

I believe that this Conversation I had with Craig directly predicts a lot of what has happened the Craig and I since our relationship started.

This is the conversation I had in which I told Craig about my dream at the time Craig and I were going through our MSN phase and My screen name was a quote I read in a book and Craig had just created the screen name fusedreality.:

New Desire, at heart I’m faint says:

it was about this Castle and how you said you’d wait till I got there to go visit it with me. I was rowing a boat to the uk

Craig | fusedreality says:

ok…

New Desire, at heart I’m faint says:

and you were sitting on a bench outside the castle waiting for me,

but then I realized that it was winter and all the water around me began to freeze and I got stuck.

So I tried walking on the ice, but I fell through. Under water there was a plane and the sand was made out of money

and a camera came through the hole I fell through, and I grabbed it and you pulled me up and it was 12 midnight on New Years

and we were in the middle of the ocean and we could see fireworks in both the uk and america.

We just stood there on the ice that’s where it ended…

…isn’t that weird?…

Craig | fusedreality says:

just a little bit…pretty cool though.

only one problem

New Desire, at heart I’m faint says:

what?

Craig | fusedreality says:

i wouldn’t put my camera in water to save a life!

At the time Craig had interpreted the dream for me and I’d taken what he’d said at face value:

“Well, the boat and the ice might say how much of an ordeal it’s been for you to try to get here – but how much you’d go to achieve it.

Falling through the ice would be as if you felt that you weren’t going to make it the whole way, but you wanted to try.

Saving you with my camera suggests that you think I’d do what needs to be done to help you through.

and fireworks show success and happiness”

Now that Its been years since I wrote this and now that I have experienced many hardships I feel that it really means this.

I’ve been trying for the longest time to get to Craig and”The Castle” in Scotland. The journey to Scotland has been a struggle, that’s why the character that is me is rowing a boat instead of taking a plane or cruising over in a motorboat. Many obstacles have come in my way of getting to Scotland over the years such as my mother’s wishes for me to stay near her, and illness . Even though I can see my goal so clearly like I can see The Castle and Craig waiting, I have had to stop what i was planning to make changes for my life appropriately. I think that’s what the Ice Means freezing my great progress and plans in their places. Even with the changes I’ve been determined to continue to work toward Scotland even though It was dangerous for me to go alone “My choice to get out of the boat and walk the rest of the way to Craig and the Castle”. Last year I decided to take a trip to Scotland which required me to get on a plane, that’s what I think the Plane underwater means…When I got to Ireland on my trip I was stopped by immigrations and given a really hard time. I was questioned about why I was visiting the country in the first place. I felt overwhelmed when I was integrated by immigrations for no reason what so ever and I felt completely trapped by my situation. I think that is where the falling through the ice and feeling like I was drowning and feeling trapped feeling came is a reflection of my own life. The biggest issue that they found about me just telling them that I was going into the UK for vacation was my lack of money. Money has been a HUGE issue for me and it is the underlining issue while I try to save money to get Craig to come for Christmas this year and now. the money that represents the bottom of the sea is the base of all my issues like it is the base and the bottom of the sea floor, money like the sea floor is always moving and changing hands even though it is hard to see the intricacies of it. Craig rescuing me from my misery is exactly what he ended up doing while I was living in Scotland with him. The one thing that I found that I did constantly while I was there was taking pictures, even the pictures I’ve taken from my time in Scotland sustains me now. I think the camera represents my “way out” I find that I can escape all my problems while looking back at pictures of Craig and I together and thinking of the memories we’ve made where I was happy free and felt safe. Which brings me to the last few points, it being New Years with the fireworks. Craig and I Spent last New Years together and we watched the Fireworks that came from the Castle in the UK. Now that I am having money problems this year Even though I want to spend New Years with Craig we will be spending it at different times in different countries because I can’t afford to buy Craig a plane ticket to come see me. We are apart and will be apart till the ice thaws in the Spring And I will be able to row my boat again I feel that my connection with Craig makes every moment we have apart technically six hours apart makes time stand still and not even matter. Craig and I are going to enjoy the New Year together even though we aren’t together. ME in the US and him in Scotland because we love each other and nothing can get in our way.

I think this version of my dream makes a lot more sense and I’m really surprised that all of this is going on two years after I’d dreamed the dream in the first place.