Corinne's Blog

So today was supposed to be my day.

The day where I celebrated my twenty years of life on this planet and

I celebrated that I had survived to this age as many people before me hadn’t.
I was supposed to get attention and respect from everyone around me,

the prospects of anything bad happening today were supposed to be gone.

Sadly Life isn’t what you want it to be.
Today had to be one of the hardest days of my life.

Not only did everything that I wanted for my birthday not happen,

but the worst thing that could have happened did.

My boyfriend Craig’s loving mother Sheona Valley McCreath died this morning.

Last night when I’d been talking to Craig I had known that something was wrong I’d had the strange gut feeling that the situation wasn’t going to get better.

My bad feeling started when Craig initiated a conversation with me. Craig and I have been dating for almost nine months now but we have been friends for A LOT longer. During our years of friendship I have grown to know Craig well enough to know that he is not the type to initiate much due to his social anxiety and his fears of rejection. In our relationship I’ve been known to start a lot. Even though I want to be the follower often and I try to force Craig into positions that cause him to have to make up his mind on decisions I know that it is completely out of his character to try to initiate such a thing as a conversation with me.
Last night was different and I knew it was different because not only did Craig try to reach out to me but he shared his feelings with me without my having to ask for them. He knew he could trust me and confide in me as I’d done millions of times for him before.

Craig filled me in on his mother’s condition as I sat at home on my mom’s terrible wireless I thought to myself…I really hope this isn’t as bad as I think it is…and I really hope Craig is preparing himself for the very worst. In the back of my mind I had many selfish thoughts hoping that this trip to the hospital for the McCreaths would be like any other. Craig’s mom was admitted to the hospital for a few days, she’d heal, and all would be returned to normal. I hoped this because I thought that the worst thing that could happen would be Craig’s mother dying on my very birthday.
I thought that Craig’s mother dying on my birthday would taint the day for Craig for the rest of our lives. I thought that Craig would think of the anniversary of his mother’s death at everyone of my birthdays for the rest of our lives together and get all depressed and upset and angrily frustrated with the unfairness of the world, that one day meant to be used to celebrate life would become a day to wonder why it had to end.

The internet at my mother’s house failed me and all I could do for the rest of the night was to pray and hope that the best thing that could happen (Craig’s mothers healing) would happen in the passing hours of the night. My mom and I sat before we went to bed a prayed together that everything would turn out for the best for the McCreath family.

Sadly everything I hoped would didn’t go as I’d hoped. Tragically a life that had been filled with love and compassion for others was brought to an end.

Being a Christian I was raised to believe that God has a plan for everyone’s life,

that God brings a person into the world for a reason at a certain time. I was raised and taught that God can take a person out of the world when God believes that it is their time.

I wonder why God choose this time in Craig and Claire’s lives to take away their loving mother.

I wonder why God decided that the proper time to take this vital person away in my best friend’s life would be on the day that I myself was celebrating my life.

I wondered what a person does in God’s amazing plan to deserve that their time of final judgment come so early when in the bible men and woman lived for hundreds of years?

Why do good people such as Craig’s mom die, when the scum of the earth like Criminals can live their final days in the luxaries of their jail cells or even roaming the streets commiting even more crimes?

How dare God take away an innocent person’s mother, wife and sister?!

These questions I have been asking myself all day today as I cried and pondered the news that I’d recieved this morning a mere four minutes after waking up.

I sat crying to my mother asking her Why my prayers didn’t work? and Why everything didn’t turn out for the better when I usually get what I want from my religion.

My my mother told me that God gave the answer to these questions that was always meant to be. She said that God made this decision because he needed to and It was always planned, she said that even though we didn’t want it to happen it was out of our control, she told me that Craig’s mother was in a better place and closer to her creator. She told me that she is where she was meant to be. I know many people who aren’t religious but to me to grasp onto the worldly body and to not be thankful about where to soul may be was the wrong thing. That is how I find that I can cope with death and look into it’s face with no fear and feel better about my future. I know that there is hope for those who believe that there is.

I think God was trying to show us that life is short and that it is important for a person to cherish the time they have. I believe that I should live each day like it was the last one I’ll ever have and love like there isn’t a limit. I Believe that a person’s life is like a star shining in the darkness and that for the small time that the star can be seem in the night’s sky that it should try it’s best to shine it’s brightest and most brilliant.

I believe that the important thing about a person’s life is what amazing and incredible lessons and memories they leave behind. A BODY MAY DIE BUT A SOUL WILL LIVE ON FOREVER.

Sheona McCreath raised two brilliant, talented, Loving, intelligent, amazingly beautiful children. She was a friend to all. Even though I only was able to know her for a short amount of time I feel blessed to have been touched by her and able to meet her in my lifetime.

I feel that she left a mark on my heart that will never be replaced. I know she is in a good place right now and I am happy that her time of pain and suffering are over.

I’m happy that in death there is no pain and I believe that a soul finally finds it’s perfect paradise in heaven when it leaves it’s body of flesh and blood.

I have hope that Sheona McCreath is in a better place and happy to be free of a restricting body.

I believe also that the time in heaven is different then the time on earth and that in heaven millions of years can pass in a blink of an eye. I know that those of us who Sheona left behind will feel the pain and hurt of our loss for a long time and that the grieving and mourning process can change a person forever. I know that Ron, Craig and Claire will never be the same after this loss. But I believe that we will live our lives to the fullest and be with Sheona in heaven to what may seem to her as a split second but to us maybe a lifetime.

I’m looking at life in a brand new light now. I want to make the most of the days I have to live.

I am proud that Craig will remember his mother on my birthday for the rest of his life because I wouldn’t want to share that day with anyone else, she is the most worthy of the honor because she holds a great spot in Craig’s life because her life and the spirit she left behind was so great. I believe that my sharing my day is a blessing and that the love that Sheona had for everyone she knows will become the love that people she has touched have for others.

May she rest in peace without pain or worry forever happy in the warmth of my father’s house.